The Movie Speech

So you know how in movies you get to give that uninterrupted, ranting speech that leaves the person who hurt you without response? Well, one of those came to me this morning and I feel the need to share it (with someone other than my bathroom mirror) even though in real life I'd never get the opportunity to deliver it:

So, I'm assuming you've noticed that I haven't been around as much lately. And I would bet that you're just waiting for me to get over whatever is bothering me and come back to our usual pattern. But guess what: its not going to happen. As far as I'm concerned, you don't treat me like a friend... I feel more like a convenience to you. But I'm done being at your beck-and-call. I'm not interested in being your sidekick anymore. Every time I've brought up the way I feel unimportant to you, you use your words to tell me that I am wonderful and important to you, but nothing else changes. And at this point your words are meaningless because your actions and behavior towards me continue to make me feel unloved and disregarded.

So here's the deal: If you want to talk to me, call me. If you want to see me, make plans with me. But I won't be contacting you anymore. You'll have to show me that you want an actual friendship with me. But don't worry. This is not me making any demands. I honestly don't expect you to make any effort in my direction because I don't think you want a real friendship with me. I think you called me your best friend because I filled a need for you and nothing more. But the ball's in your court, so its up to you.

And I know that you warned me that you're "poisonous" and that you drain people dry, but I naively thought that with this awareness you would grow and change and things would get better. Maybe it was wrong of me to expect you to change, but I thought that's what life was all about. I thought that's what social work was all about: growing and changing. So this is me growing and changing... and walking away.