"What are you doing today?" "So, what are your plans for the day?" I've been asked some derivative of this question by at least two guys this summer and I would really like to know what it means. Obviously, it could just be an effort to generate conversation. However, in both of my recent conversations it sounded more suggestive than that, like, "I might want to make plans with you today."
So my question is: what is the appropriate response? It didn't feel right to get all flirty and say, "Whatever you're doing..." but that's what they say in movies and that's how they get a date. But apparently when I leave it open and say something about having no plans yet, nothing happens. Is this a sign that they meant nothing more than friendly conversation and platonic curiosity or does this question require more encouragement? And if so, how do I know when to step out on a limb and give encouragement and when not to? Grrr... I hate this game!
5 comments:
It could as simple as saying, "o, nothing in particular. why? got any ideas?" or just ask why they're asking.
It puts the ball back in their court to step up their game, buts keeps it casual enough that if they say no, just say "o ok. well if you think of anything and want to hang out, let me know; maybe i'll be free." you don't want to keep your schedule completely open to their whims, but you also want to let them know you're available.
But personally, I'm not down with the whole "today" thing. Maybe it's just me, and I don't think it applies to everyone, but I don't like last-minute plans in general. So when a guy doesn't take the time have something in mind when he asks me what i'm doing, i'm unimpressed. I want plans; and for me, that's just a matter of respect. But again, that could be just me.
Alecia, I completely agree with the "plans today?" thing. I dislike last minute things too.
And if a guy does ask this question, I'm inclined to think he doesn't mean anything special by it, since it's so casual (and unromantic). If he DOES want a date, he'll probably think ahead and be ready with ideas for the weekend.
For the record, this is the "I just met you, find you interesting, and want to explore the possibility in a relaxed way" category. Definitely not suitable for the, "I'd like to date you and pursue a relationship" category. :)
I agree with Alecia, to put the ball back in his court by asking why. it may seem aggressive, but I think it's better to be honest about what you have planned, but guys are innately attracted to women that seem the most unattainable. And if his tone is casual, you follow that.
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