Chapter 2

Israel
Minimizing what his flirtatious behavior toward another female friend might mean could leave you shocked and speechless if he asks her out before your very eyes.

After Christmas break my senior year in college, I came back to school hoping for a fresh start for my last semester. My best friend had just moved into my on-campus apartment, and I was eager to return to the community of friends I had created in my building. The apartment next door had become a second living room for me and the guys who lived there were never surprised to emerge from their room to find me lounging on their couch reading a book for class.

Almost as soon as I returned to school, I ran into a guy I didn’t know hanging out with the boys next door. Israel was tall and striking. Soon after introducing ourselves I found out that he had just spent a semester in Israel. He was easy to talk with and I found myself liking him during the course of that initial conversation. He had moved in with the RA in the apartment directly below mine, so I knew that he would be conveniently around for me to interact with.

I believe it was around that time that our apartment building started Sunday night basketball. At 10pm each Sunday we would meet on the deck and then walk over to the gym together for a relaxed co-ed game of basketball. As fun as it was to play the game, however, my favorite part might have been the walk to and from the gym. It was during our transit each week that water wars were started and flirty conversations could be initiated without too much suspicion. I remember laughing a lot on the walks to and from the gym. However, I did notice that Israel seemed awfully comfortable with one of the other girls in my building. One day on our walk back from the gym, the water fight turned into a battle between the two of them and he ended up picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder. I told myself that they were just close friends from before he spent the semester away.

At some point early on, Israel talked about a girl he had spent some time with during his semester abroad. She attended a school nearby, and he traveled to visit her several times as they tried out what it would be like to date each other. I was of course disappointed, but what could I do but be supportive?

One Sunday afternoon I was studying on the deck, which served as our main lobby and was surrounded by the first floor of apartments (where Israel lived with the RA). Israel came home, said a brief hello and went into his apartment. An hour or two later I was still on the deck when he emerged with a completely shaved head. I exclaimed something that made him come over and explain that the girl had broken up with him and this was his way of cutting clean and making a fresh start. While it was nice to know that he was now available, I was primarily saddened for him and how much this had meant to him. And in all honesty, I was awfully impressed by the depth of his feelings and intentionality of addressing them. This only served to deepen my regard for Israel.

It was also a common practice in our building to leave your door open if you were home and feeling social. Since I had already made myself known as a wanderer who liked to visit her neighbors, it was easy to find excuses to drop by. Maybe because the RA lived there or maybe because they were both very social, but I was delighted to find that the door to their apartment was cracked open about 80% of the time. And whether or not I was searching for open doors at the time, I rarely passed up the opportunity to peak my head into Israel’s open front door to say hello and start up a conversation. We talked about traveling and school papers, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and how amazing chocolate and peanut butter are together. One day he even wandered into my open door and sat in my living room to chat for a while.

Weekly basketball and random chats went on for a while, and as we neared the end of the semester we were all feeling the push to get things done. Somehow a study group formed that included Israel, the waterfight girl (Jenna), her roommate (Brenda), and me. We spent a good deal of time together one week and even traveled off campus to study together in our search for productivity. One night, the four of us decided to take a break and play a card game on the deck. I sat next to Israel and across the table from Brenda. Jenna must have either been learning the game for the first time, not very adept at cards, keen on the ways of a damsel in distress, or all of the above. She started hinting that she didn’t know what cards to play, and the next thing I knew Israel was standing behind her with his head practically on her shoulder.

As the reality of the situation hit me, I looked over at Brenda and she was staring at me with a very worried look on her face because she knew exactly what was going on. Needless to say, I ceased hanging out with them as I re-arranged my feelings on the subject. I couldn’t deny what a great match they were and eventually I shifted my thinking and was able to see Israel not as a potential date for me, but as my friend Jenna’s boyfriend.

She brought the subject up a couple weeks later while we were sitting around in her apartment, and I told her truthfully that everything was fine. She mentioned that Israel had asked about me because he had figured out that I liked him as more than a friend and he wanted to know if she thought he should talk to me about all this. Even though that felt a little patronizing, I was comforted to know that he had noticed and that he cared.

Now
Israel and Jenna are happily married, but I have lost touch with them since I graduated.