I can't help but get wrapped up in the drama of the moment as I relay to a friend the details of my interactions with __________ [insert name here]. I want our interactions to mean something because if I like a guy I can't help hoping that he'll like me back. So, when there's nothing definite (such as declarations of: "I hate you, go away" or "I love you, marry me"), there is much room for interpretation... and I just can't help myself.
This time around, I do have to say that I did a good job of talking myself back down to reality after spending time with him... that is, up until last week. Last week, it was much harder to read only platonicity (yes, I made up a new word) in the events that transpired. And after narrating the whole week for a friend, I got lost in it and literally had myself convinced that he was interested and a move in my direction was imminent.
Even though by the end of the day I had talked myself out of that conclusion, pending further evidence, I felt compelled to be around him as much as possible (even more than I had before); translation: Michal fell head-over-heals... exactly what I had been attempting to avoid.
So today, after reflecting logically on my most recent interactions with him, it struck me in a new and somehow definite way that he's just being friendly and in no way does his behavior reflect an interest beyond friendship. Because ultimately, what really drives me to the DRAMA is the deep need/desire to know the TRUTH.
In light of my realization, tomorrow begins Operation AB (Avoid the Boy). I solemnly swear to
- avoid looking for him when he might be around
- study in an out of the way place rather than where he might be passing through
- resist the urge to call or text him for any reason whatsoever
- be friendly when I encounter him in spite of previous efforts
When push comes to shove, I'd rather hold onto the TRUTH and break free from the fruitless DRAMA.
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