Moving Forward

For the first time in a LONG time, I feel like I'm moving forward. I'm consistently getting school work done and I rarely have days where I get NOTHING done anymore. And beyond school, I'm choosing to move on from a certain boy. Did you catch that? I'm CHOOSING to move on... I don't think I've ever been able to do that before.

I had a lovely week in California, getting Liana married and celebrating Thanksgiving. While I was there, a couple of my dearest friends (some of them family members) showed me as well as told me how special I am. It was hard to hear because we're somehow taught to be humble at all costs... even to the point of failing to truly understand ourselves and our place in the world.

One of the things they told me (and I'm choosing to remind myself of regularly) is that I deserve someone amazing... someone who sees me the way they do. And since the unnamed boy only gives me the time of day when its convenient, I'm now confident that that "amazing person" is NOT him. He has officially been crossed off my list and I am definitively moving on. Go me! :)

"Broken"
by Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you