My afternoon meds have to be taken early enough in the evening (like, say, 5pm), so that I can actually fall asleep at night. However, I'm usually not finished with what I had planned to accomplish (or desperately needed to accomplish) for the day by 9pm when they hypothetically wear off.
Through recent experiences, I have found that working beyond that point in the evening is very unproductive and very conducive to emotional break-downs out of extreme frustration with oneself and one's apparent inability to complete homework assignments in any functional time-frame.
And on previous occasions when I have made myself go to bed and finish something in the morning (meaning getting up early), it has worked out fairly well. So I decided that it would be perfect to just go to bed at 9:30 (fall asleep by 10pm), and get up at 6:30am, fully rested and begin work around 7am on my paper.
Perfect... well, not so much. I laid in bed for a long time... willing myself to go to sleep, but apparently, the meds won't allow it this early... but I know I'm tired! grrr... When an hour rolled by I turned on the music (with a sleep timer)... but to no avail. So here I am writing after midnight (even though my time stamp says otherwise).
I'm still going to get up at 6:30am because I have tons of work to do on this paper. But now I feel like I've wasted 3 hours of perfectly good sleep-time and it wasn't even because I was dawdling around on the computer (as is usually the case). I was actually all ready for bed, laying there quietly... hoping sleep would come find me.
So now, does this mean that I need to toss this idea in the future? Or do I need to take my meds earlier? See, I'm feeling like the problem is that there are several useless hours in the evening that are created by these meds: I'm too distracted to work, but I'm too alert from the stimulant to sleep.
Ideally, these strange hours would be a great time for other things like: unpacking my suitcase from Spring Break, or finding my ID card that's gotta be lost in my room somewhere. However, the overwhelming feeling of work left to be done this semester makes me prioritize sleep and work with no room for anything else.
But after frequent experiences like this one where I attempt both work and sleep in vain, maybe I'll have to rethink that.
3 comments:
So, I know you don't exactly have mountains of available time, but your story and the title of your blog remind me of two separate This American Life programs: Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time, and My Brilliant Plan. The second program contains a story about a man who dedicates his life to building a time-machine in order to go back and see his dead father. True story.
Anyway. Just thought I'd share that.
Thank you so much Michal I really appriciated your comment...actually though it was just me saying, I'm human I'm NOT perfect, and yet God loves me.
But it was really sweet of you to say such sweet things.
Love you,
K
Maybe your mind has to many things. Damn school for it's personally invasive nature!
Thank you for the card b-t-dub. It was amazing. I shared it with the Executive Director and she verbally expressed her mirth. And the itunes will come in handy. Oh Indian music, here I come...
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