I'm over it

Seriously... I think I'm really over it.

When Jason left Biola 2 years ago, he was burning CD's of pics for everyone and I asked him to burn everything for me. He handed me 3 CD's which I promptly put away and didn't look at again.

Then, I graduated and ceased abusing my poor 19 Gig hard drive with pictures and music. But now that I have my new Macbook Pro (its so wonderful!), I'm adding all of my pictures from this past year (Florida and Home stuff) to my library... and I came across the CD's from Jason... so I popped them in.

As it uploaded all of the pictures, each one flashed across the screen. I could have walked to another part of my room to continue working on whatever I was doing at the time (I always multi-task while downloading things)... but I didn't. I sat there glued to the screen.

And the funny thing was that I couldn't stop myself from smiling and laughing at all the good times. Not only with Jason, but also with other Biola friends. But it was so odd and refreshing and wonderful to watch the many pictures of Jason and I flicker by and not feel pain and regret as the overwhelming emotion. I was happy to remember it... I was fond of these memories and it was so weird.

Soon after this I thought, "I must be over it..." And I've come to realize that being able to be good friends with your Ex is not an accurate meter of measurement for how well you've moved on. I don't think I need that... in fact I think I need not to have it.

So, it may have taken me basically the same amount of time to get over him as I spent dating him, but I don't care. I don't care if I'm slow in healing. I don't care if I'm the Drama Queen. I don't care that he wants to be friends. I don't care that our relationship still comes to mind in frequent situations. I don't care... because I'm over it, and that is just so wonderful to me.