Living out loud

I can keep any secret... except my own. I live my life out loud. If I'm sad, I can't hide it. If I'm happy, it shines on my face. I'm not interested in pretending to feel or pretending to be anything that is not genuine to where I am. My heart is effectively camped out on my sleeve and I don't plan on finding alternative real estate for it.

Practically speaking, this life philosophy has its good days and its bad days. An example of this would be my recent dating adventure. Within the first week, not only had I excitedly relayed details to most everyone I interact with on a weekly basis, but also to most of my friends in the St Louis area... not to mention many friends and family in California. I was excited and I shared it with my world.

Now that its over, I keep running into people with whom I don't necessarily have regular contact, but for whatever reason, they've heard my tale. On a certain level, this is slightly embarrassing because in a big way the ending of any relationship feels like a failure. And because I told my world about this relationship, they also must be told about my failure. And for a split second, I regret my rash excitement over the whole thing. But, as I swallow my pride and communicate my news, they respond with sadness to match my own and suddenly I am supported in my grief and also somehow relieved of a small portion of my pain.

So I will continue to live my life out loud not only because I want people to share in my joy, but even more-so because I need their love and support when the tide changes.