To Captivate

I'm slowly putting together a list of things that seem to grab my attention when it comes to guys. For all the logic and order I try to place upon my feelings and relationships, the things that captivate me... and I mean REALLY engulf my mind... should teach me more about myself and my feelings than I have previously allowed them to.

The list is short so far, but their recent strength has stolen my attention and I wish to explore these things so that I can more thoroughly contemplate and understand them in the future.

This week, I stumbled across the blog of an acquaintance. The night we met, I was distracted and initially uninterested in the conversation he initiated. But by the end of the night, after circumstances kept us talking, I found it difficult to say goodbye. I was consumed by the combined feelings of intrigue, awe and fear. Then, upon perusing the art on his Myspace page the following day, this feeling only increased and began to make sense as I realized how talented he was.

As I revisited his page to read his blogs this past week (several months after our initial encounter, with no interaction in between), I found myself engrossed in each of the short stories he had posted. Most of them were only a couple sentences in length, but the first three words of each had such a power that I felt drawn into the picture he painted with those words in ways I rarely ever experience.

I read each vignette hoping to find one more, and when I'd read them all I felt so strange. I had not thought of him in months, and yet as I read his words, I think I started to have a crush on him. It came upon me so quickly that I was startled and perplexed. It was as if his artistic sensibility alone drew me to him.

There's just something about artistic talent that captivates me... maybe it's because it seems to be a rare thing for guys to express or portray... but I just drink it up... I always have... any guy who can sing, dance, act, write, draw, etc. I just... I don't know. It pulls at me and I can't turn away.

I'm just now beginning to grasp the strength of these captivators and I find it both scary and fascinating.