I Prefer Answers

I have lots of questions. Questions about what people think of me; questions about my future career; questions about boys; questions about people/relationships from my past; questions about whether or not I will have to pull some more all-nighters to finish the rest of my school work in the next week...

And I hate questions... I really hate not KNOWing. I mean, I understand that there's a lot to be said for the process... and timing... and I know that when I've reached the other side of a very confusing process, so much good has come out of it... but seriously! On nights like this, when Grey's Anatomy has ripped out your heart and left you hanging, and the rain continues to fall outside as if to mimic and perpetuate your mood, and it feels like nothing in your life is quite what it should be or just not quite what you wanted... on nights like tonight, I prefer answers.

In a lot of situations, I would just rather KNOW. When you KNOW, you can deal. When you don't KNOW, you're left staring at a door that you're pretty sure isn't going to open and yet you stand there, hoping with every fiber of your being that it will... maybe... someday. And you want to turn away so badly because you know that you're missing the rest of the room as you stare at the closed door... but you can't... because you don't KNOW for sure that its not going to open sometime... so you hope... and you stare.

But if you KNEW; if you really KNEW that the closed door was never going to open, then you could be sad, turn around, and experience the rest of the room.

So I guess the reason I prefer answers is because I don't know how to turn around without them, and I have a pretty strong feeling that I'm missing something that's right behind me.