The Awkwardizer

I'm making up a new word:

Awkwardizer - (noun) someone or something that never fails to make a situation uncomfortable regardless of attempts to counter it.

So, usually I'm pretty good at covering awkwardness with conversation... and its not a terribly difficult task because the awkward feeling, if ignored, is something that will usually go away.

However, there is a guy in my building who's just a piece of work. I first met him when QiQi wrote a note on his door because she thought that the girl he lives with was someone else. So they stopped by and I answered the door and called QiQi over. Well, she was really flustered because it wasn't who she expected and so she didn't really say anything... but they weren't my guests, so really I should have just walked away and let her deal with it, but I didn't because they were my neighbors, too, and I wanted to meet people.

Well, QiQi invited them in because she didn't know what else to do, but she seemed really hesitant. He caught on and said to the girl, "Maybe this isn't a good time." Now, that's all well and good and it sounded like the appropriate response because poor newly English-speaking QiQi was obviously flustered. However, he was just... sooo... awkward about it that it was just plain uncomfortable.

So I've seen him twice since then. The first time, I was really glad to see him as I walked into the building because I wanted to address the awkwardness and explain why QiQi was so confused... so that normal-ness could resume. And I figured he would be awkward again, so I played it cool and chatted about it for him. He responded, very... very awkwardly. I don't think he even looked at me. But I just figured things would be fine the next time.

When I saw him for a third time, he was holding the door open for me and I said thanks and let it rest at that figuring, "What can be awkward about this simple situation?" Oh, how wrong I was... man, its like a talent that he doesn't know he has or something. So I've officially given up. But the funny thing is that I hadn't really decided to avoid him until I saw him at school today (this is really a longer explanation than I had planned to give, but I think it will all make more sense and I promise I'll get to the point soon).

I had walked over to church (on the other side of school from my apartment) to pick something up. So as I was walking back across the front parking lot on my way home, I saw him walking towards the corner and I figured he would be going the same way that I was, but since he was behind me, I decided to let him worry about it. As I crossed to the other corner I realized that somehow he had gotten a half-block in front of me... which made me think that he had been trying to avoid me, too, because the only way to have done that would have been to J-walk quickly across (I had just missed one crossing signal).

So I decided to race him with the intent of beating him home with enough distance that we wouldn't run into each other at our building. So I ducked down the street before mine and started speed walking my way down the block. I knew he had been walking slowly, but I didn't know how slowly, so I just did the best I could with an arm full of a project that I had brought to class.

As I crossed over onto my street, I kept looking over as the corner opened to see where he was. Sure enough, I had totally "blocked" him (as opposed to "lapped" him), and he was now about a half of a block behind me... ha ha ha! So I continued my pace, pretending I had not seen him, and actually made it in the door, checked my mail, put my food in the fridge and dropped my stuff in my room before I heard him open the door... he he.

Now, I have to say that that was a fun excuse for a little mini work-out. ;)