Melancholic

I thought the cloud would lift once the stress went away with the application deadline... but it hasn't. Maybe I'm just tired... maybe I'm still stressed, I don't know. Maybe I need to listen to something besides Jars of Clay (Good Monsters) because they tend to be mellow and intense...

I just feel... blah.

Granted, my friends don't know this because when I'm with them I kick into social gear. But when I'm alone, my gears are different... and I'm melancholy a lot... and its starting to concern me. I ponder things about my life... or about the way I wish my life turned out... and I just want to cry... maybe that's a form of depression, I don't know.

And so I do the little errands that pop up... go to work every morning... hang out with friends when I can.... and listen to music inbetween it all.... and then as I'm slumped in my car with a dead-pan expression as I drive home from work each day, I just wonder if there really is something wrong with me.