I've always been a bit more logical than the stereotypical overly-sensitive girl. But I don't think that's enough. Because I definitely have the tendency to want to "fix" people's ideas, habits, or behaviors. And I've always known in the back of my head that that's dumb on multiple levels (A-that's not my job; B-how can I possibly know what "fixed" would look like for anyone... let alone myself). And I've gotten a lot better about it... but its not enough. And I think that, specifically in romantic relationships, my focus has been all wrong.
BAD: "I like a lot of things about you... but you could improve here, here, here, here, here, here, and here... here, here, here, here, oh and I really don't like that about you either... you should really do something about that!"I don't want to apply pressure... I don't want to layer on the expectations. I don't want to give "the look" that I'm so good at unless we're joking around.
GOOD: "I like a lot of things about you... and I want to get to know you better... and spur you on in your pursuit of getting to know yourself better in light of your relationship with God."
I want to assume the best of him and always try to understand what he was thinking and intending before I let my emotions run away with me (even as I yell at them to stop).
I want to be the type of girlfriend that all of his friends are jealous of because of how free he is... I want him to feel unconditionally loved and accepted.
And likewise, I'm going to be picky about how a guy treats me when I chose someone to date... and hopefully just as picky about how I treat him.
Isn't this what marriage is supposed to be? At least in part? And isn't dating the prep for marriage? So why did it take me this long to figure this out?
You know, sometimes I really hate knowledge and understanding... because they sure take their sweet time showing up!
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