From 5pm-11pm tonight, I hung out with 6 guys. And its really fun to say that, but it ultimately doesn't mean anything. They're all just my friends (or cousin as the case may be).
Part of me says that's really sad and the other half of me says its a good thing. I don't need a guy messing up my plans and getting in the way right now... but I want one to spend the rest of my life with. This is probably a bit too much for my blog, but at this moment I don't really care.
So that's my eternal paradox (well, eternal until this piece of the puzzle falls into place, anyway): wanting a guy but at the same time not wanting one. I seem to be teetering in the middle of a lot of paradoxical feelings: wanting to go to bed, but not feeling like putting out the energy to get there; wanting to get my homework done but feeling more interested in procrastinating and visiting with friends (there's more in that list I'm just too tired to bring them to mind right now).
So ya.... I guess I just feel stuck being torn between all sides and whims... 'tis the plight of the reactive and sensitive being.
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