Jason is gone

For the summer, Jason, my boyfriend/future fiance is working at a camp in Oregon. He's the Ropes Course and Zipline Assistant and he's very excited about it. He'll only have internet access once a week, and his phone is just the community pay phone... so needless to say, he and I won't be communicating all that much this summer. And surprisingly, I'm ok with that. For those of you who know me well, you know that I get pretty dramatic when it comes to not seeing or talking to Jason... so this is definitely a God-thing for me. Two days before Jason and I were supposed to move out of the dorms and come home (to respective homes in different states), I was balling my eyes out at the thought of not seeing him all summer. Its not like this is our first time apart, though. Its actually our third summer as a couple.

Summer '02: Jason and I talked on the phone every night for 4-7 hours at a time... and then I slept in and worked from late morning to late afternoon... and then I'd call him again.

Summer '03: After 2 weeks, I went to his house for 2 weeks. A month after that, he came to my house for 2 weeks... then we packed up and headed back to school.

So, this summer is going to be a bit different... and it was really bothering me up until about the time we were supposed to part ways. I kept praying about it knowing that I would be busy working and taking a class... and knowing that God still had a lot of work to do in both of us... and solitude is often when He speaks the most.

The day Jason and I said good-bye, I was sad, but to my amazement I didn't cry. That night at my aunt and uncle's, I was enjoying my cousins instead of pining after Jason. And ever since then, its really been okay with me that Jason and I will be mostly out of touch for the summer... and honestly that's unheard of for me... so its completely obvious to me that its only God that's keeping me sane and functional.

It never ceases to amaze me how God gives me exactly what I need when I need it. In a world of endless possessions and instant gratification, its comforting to know that God cares about me and knows everything about me, so that He can be the one to give me what I need instead of what I think I need. We're so much better off that way, but that's still hard for me to see sometimes.